There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroad, afraid, confused, without a roadmap. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Of course when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back.
You said you didn’t want to waste your time on people who aren’t going to matter. But how do you know they’re not going to matter? Unless you give it a shot?
I’m the kind of person who likes to be by himself. To put a finer point on it, I’m the type of person who doesn’t find it painful to be alone. I find spending an hour or two every day running alone, not speaking to anyone, as well as four or five hours alone at my desk, to be neither difficult nor boring. I’ve had this tendency ever since I was young, when, given a choice, I much preferred reading books on my own or concentrating on listening to music over being with someone else. I could always think of things to do by myself.
For him, you will be the light at the end of the tunnel, the halo of glowing yellow that he has been waiting for. Never forget that you are someone worth steering for, someone worth the swift kick in the opposite direction worth all of the trials and checklists and almostrights because you are a mountaintop, the crush of violet on skin from a rainbow that seems so close to the earth that it must be real. When he comes to you, gorge on his compassion. Fill yourself completely. He will think you a miracle, a revelation and will count himself as the lucky one. Do not question him or yourself — this is exactly the kind of love you deserve.
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